Winter Woods

This winter's persistent woods beckoning has me giddy. Maybe it is because the young ones in the cabin are (seemingly) less likely to burn it down if I venture out, now that they are ages 6 and 9, so the permission slips seem easier to grant. This past weekend's trip to Hike Inn in Georgia with Gretchen was one that will go on future calendars, then with a little less weight in the pack and a little more time in the bank.  

Today's lunch break is dedicated to writing a poem in honor of this special time. Let's see what comes forth:

ode to well

meet you at the base of the falls dear

amidst flutter of heart swirl of mind 

a long winter's walk to honor the shared

sense of adventure
the layers of forest
and time

of moss of memory of might of mire

step step step rise to taste the wet air

absorb the palette of this season's hues 

an interplay of grey brown violet blue

listen to return
refract reform

to stretch time and make room for it all

the tea the fire inspired spaces on stilts

the bread the brother the mother

warm bunk floor and flask
adirondacks coffee
curious and cold
delight in biscuits duties ephemera

step step step descend to taste the wet air

underbrush birds bid farewell  

well

well
well
oh to be well

Annie Milroy Price

a winter evening's walk

eve walk, originally uploaded by AnnieLaurel.

how it lifts the spirit
cold sharp breath
unfolding the tightest of recesses
light shining
offering
rekindling
clouds playing the sun's muse

and upon return home
the warmth greets you
and envelops you
your cheeks aglow
and energy restored
a blessing it is to
venture and return

restoration and reflection: full circle

full circle, originally uploaded by AnnieLaurel.

standing on the other side of the one year mark.....it feels good. the edges soften when a full year stands between you and a painful memory. however, it was harder than I thought it would be to return there. i got tripped up by flashes of physical pain and emotional quivers. the trees on the island are so distinctive in shape, so beautiful really, and on day one of the trip it was grey and chilly and the trees were haunting me, driving me crazy actually- very hard to describe it and it was not something I was prepared for. When my husband wheeled me out of the hospital last year I instantly looked to those trees for some sort of reminder of the natural world I love-and yet in that pain their shapes etched themselves into my psyche and somehow the memories of the pain hid in their leaves.

but that ocean. to walk with a pregnant friend alongside that ocean, to hoop and practice yoga by that ocean, to chase my daughter alongside that ocean, and to be revisited by the dolphins of that ocean- this is where the real healing took place. to know that 12 full moons have pulled its tide and carried so many cares far and wide since then- it's effect on the heart similar to its effect on shards of glass.

yes, it is true. a rebirth comes with the closing of that first year, whatever that "first year" is- i have heard this from friends who have left marriages, faced tragedies, and come out of their own darkness in numerous ways. new memories are created and while the painful moments are still there, they are seen in a more gentle light, with a softer gaze. oh, how we all look better in that softer, gentler light.

restoration: the call of the woods

in hiding, originally uploaded by AnnieLaurel.

i feel it so strongly today, a longing to walk off into the woods and hide. i come by it naturally, my father told my husband recently that he is currently resisting the same urge. this morning i was surrounded by dear friends at a brunch gathering, folks I cherish and crave time with, and yet today the weight of their gazes was too much for me to hold. my little one felt it too. she wanted to go home and once we returned she wandered straight back into the woods (can you spot her? she is with her beloved kitty). her new found refuge. she too comes by it naturally.