October 5, 2010

rearview reflection

rearview reflection, originally uploaded by AnnieLaurel
I go about my days, scurrying between here and there with a hundred thoughts all competing for attention, and then comes a stoplight and a chance to gaze into the rearview mirror. my eyes lock on her and my heart swells. I lose track of whatever I was swirling about and I anchor into the awe of the moment- I realize that I am sitting at an intersection of revelry and grace.
The journey of infertility tattooed my heart in ways I still struggle to put into words. I write and write and yet the right words choose not to show up. but the feelings do. the ever-present longing giving way to intense surges of gratitude. of wonder. of inexhaustible love.
and reverence. reverence for those who are on their own journey of desire of one kind or another, those whose most steadfast companion in the journey is loneliness.
i am grateful for the rearview mirror and how, in those moments of reflection, the past shows up and tenderly releases into the present.


  1. you, and ms. annalee, are truly an inspiration. my heart just swelled with every word you wrote here. wish i could just come and waste some time with you RIGHT NOW! much love my dear friend.

  2. what a moment of true raw beautiful wide open-ness. grateful to witness your words and thoughts.